I cracked my tailbone when I was 9 years old. Not from participating in some cool organized sport or competing in a gymnastics competition gone wrong...but from rollerblading down my driveway to Amy Grant's "Baby Baby" pretending I was Olympic Ukrainian ice skater Oksana Baiul.
I know how to bail hay, re-roof a house, and varnish a table...but I have no clue how to drive a stick shift, cook a turkey, or hula hoop.
My father affectionately nicknamed me "Chub Chubs" when I was a wee lass. No explanation necessary. Me, my thunder thighs, and my Aunt T, circa 1987 {10 months old}.
I have never had a cavity and I have 20/20 vision. I'm only bragging just a little.
I went on a mission trip to Uruguay with my church when I was a Freshman in high school. That trip was life changing for me in more ways than one. Not only did my experience there solidify my faith in Christ, but it made me realize that I had fallen in love with D. We had been dating for 2 months before the trip happened. Yes, I was only 14. 12 years and almost 6 wonderful years of marriage later, I still consider it the trip that God gave me D.
My mom made my sister and I get Glamour Shots done in 1996...you know, when they were cool. I'm convinced it's the only photography company in the world that can turn a 10 year old into a 35 year old with one snap of a camera. Strange. I feel like I should submit these to Ellen. They're hauntingly beautiful, no? I especially like my bedazzled jean jacket "come hither" look. Barf.
I used to teach cooking classes for kids as my job throughout most of college. I both loved it and hated it. The sight of a 5 year old covered in peanut butter still grosses me out to this day.
Happy Friday, friends!
Happy Friday, friends!
I definitely think you should submit those glamour shots to Ellen! How funny!
ReplyDeleteYeah, those glamour shots absolutely need to be submitted to Ellen!!!
ReplyDeleteBahahahahaha! The glamor shots!!!!! Oh my gosh. Might never let you live that one down. I hope you have one blown up real big in your house ;-). I will say though, that I was DESPERATE to have them done myself...but mom wouldn't pay for it :-(. Ruined my life at the time.- Featuring you and your beYEWtiful new blog design in my Friday Features today! Happy weekending!
ReplyDeleteI loved this! You make me laugh, girl!
ReplyDeleteLOVE the glamor shots. I used to want those SOOOO bad haha. What a mistake that entire company was! Do they still exist?
ReplyDeleteYour glamour shots are hilarious. Totally Ellen-worthy.
ReplyDeleteI can't cook a turkey, hula-hoop, or drive a stick-shift either!
ReplyDeleteI used to be jealous of the kids who got Glamour Shots...now they creep me out a little! But yours look great.
Those pictures are PRICELESS. Ohhh, how far photography has come in such a short amount of time.
ReplyDeleteP.S. Love those wee little thunder thighs :)
NO CAVITIES?! i am jealous. but I do have good vision. although now we both have broken bones. LOVE the glamour shots!
ReplyDeleteThe Glamour Shots are priceless. Send them to Ellen ASAP, I so bet she would put them on her show!
ReplyDeleteI dont know which I love more... your chub chub legs or the glamor shots! Those need to be sent into ellen!!
ReplyDelete"I'm convinced it's the only photography company in the world that can turn a 10 year old into a 35 year old with one snap of a camera." This line seriously cracked me up. Pretty sure I pitched a fit trying to get Glamour Shots done and my mother refused. I guess mom really does know best sometimes
ReplyDeleteHaha I used to pretend I was Oksana too lol and love the glamour shots ;) sooo glad my mother never subjected me to that! I was such a tom-boy I would have thrown a fit!
ReplyDeleteThose Glamour Shots are awesome. My SIL has a similar photo, it still cracks me up.
ReplyDeleteWe called my daughter Chubbers for the better part of a year. She's thinned out a bit now. ;)
The glamour shots..I can't. Oh man Case..I'm dyyyyying!!! LOL!
ReplyDeleteThe glamour shots are AWESOME!!! :)
ReplyDeleteUm, I definitely think you should submit those photos to Ellen! PRICELESS!!! Those make me so glad I never got them done...because I REALLY wanted to. LOL!
ReplyDeleteAlso, I can't hula hoop to save my life. Way too much coordination required.
I remember being a kid and being so jealous when all my friends got to do glamourshots! Now ... I think Im glad I dont have photographic evidence of just HOW awkward I was!
ReplyDeleteI love your facts! And I share some of the same skills and non-skills. Roof a house? No problem. But I can't even move my husband's stick shift car from one end of the driveway to the other.
ReplyDeleteCan you imagine the out cry if a parent did those glamour shots on a kid now days!!
ReplyDeleteLove your baby photos - too cute.
And yeah food n kids don't mix too well!
Hoola-hooping is overrated. Turkeys, however, are not. I'm sure you will tackle that important life lesson someday. Meanwhile, enjoy your perfect teeth, vision, and hair while you can. First it's one cavity, or one gray hair, or holding that menu just one inch closer to you....slippery slope of old age....
ReplyDelete#3 = holy adorable!
ReplyDelete#4 = I've never had a cavity either, but I slightly hate you for having 20/20 vision.
#5 = this is the sweetest/coolest thing I've ever read. So amazing.
#6 = I literally laughed out loud. Please submit these to Ellen, please.
oh my goodness, those glamour shots! too good.
ReplyDeleteI was going to say that your aunt was glam in that baby picture of yours, but then I got to the ACTUAL glamour shots! haha love them :)
ReplyDeleteI love this! I also cracked my tail bone at a young age, and from nothing glamorous either. I was sledding down a friends front porch and went off the curb and onto the concrete. OUCH. I feel ya girl.
ReplyDeleteThose are awesome!
ReplyDeleteI love this. So much. Those glamour shots are amazing, but the ice skating story is my favorite part of this post. ;)
ReplyDeleteYou are rockin' those glamour shots!
ReplyDeleteI broke my wrist in 8th grade while roller skating in my basement. Those were good times.