Pros & Cons of Living in Germany: Part Neun

PRO: Maultaschen

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A friend of mine helped me to discover these little pockets of deliciousness about a year ago, and ever since that divine day, I stop at Aldi at least once a month to grab a pack or two for dinner. Maultaschen is basically the German version of ravioli--only much larger. Created in the Swabian region of Germany, maultaschen consists of an outer layer of pasta dough enclosing a filling of minced meat, spinach, breadcrumbs, and onions flavored with various spices and herbs like parsley and nutmeg (although other fillings can be found as well). You can simmer them in broth and serve them like a soup…you can boil them like regular ravioli and cover them with butter & onions (as pictured above) or a tomato sauce…or you can cut them into slices and fry them in a pan with onions (my personal favorite way to eat them). I recently discovered a maultaschen filled with cheese and bacon…basically the best discovery in the world, as you can imagine. It's interesting, though…I've never been able to find these little dough pockets in any restaurant I've eaten at in Germany. Tell me they don't only exist in home kitchens and prepackaged at grocery stores?!? I'm hoping to take a maultaschen recipe home to the states with us and try my hand at making them from scratch someday. If you've got a stellar recipe, send it my way!

CON: Queuing Confused

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Germans, you guys are sweet. You're fun to talk to, you have beautiful gardens, and delicious beer…but you don't know how to form a line worth a darn. For a country that loves structure and efficiency so much, it boggles my mind that many Germans don't grasp the concept of queuing. Or maybe they do and they just don't care to form lines? Whoever's faster and pushier wins? Who knows. Either way, I hate having to stand in line for something in Germany where there are no "official" designated lines or someone directing the line moving. I'm always looking for the beginning of a line and then there's just no line to be found. The airport is the worst of these places. Well, that and tourist attractions and bathroom lines at Oktoberfest. I once yelled at a group of German ladies trying to cut the line for the bathroom inside an Oktoberfest tent. The line wrapped around the building and the ladies just "pretended" not to notice and kept trying to sneak in at various points in the queue. They tried in front of the wrong girl (me!) because I made a scene and embarrassed them to the back of the line. Girl had to pee! Ain't nobody got time for line breakers. Honestly though, it's not just Germans (and it's not all Germans…there are always exceptions to the rule). Many Europeans have this queuing ineptness, too. Now, I'm not saying all American's are good at waiting in line…faaarrrr from it (hello Black Friday madness!)…but it's a common frustration among the American expats I've befriended here in Germany. I guess the trick is to pretend you're German and it's every man for himself? You guys know what you're doing don't you? Give it to me straight.

PRO: Autohof (Rest Stops)

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If you've never experienced a German rest stop (Autohof or Rasthof), you haven't seen the beauty of what efficient and expansive rest stops should be. Autohof's are big and can house a wide variety of things like restaurants, gas stations, restrooms, bars, hotels, showers, playgrounds, conference rooms, telephones, convenience stores, and even sometimes churches. Anything you might need on the road, an Autohof is sure to have it. Only trick is, these things are placed anywhere from 40km to 60km apart on the Autobahn and not all Autohof's offer all the amenities I listed above. Sometimes these large rest stops offer one restaurant (maybe a Burger King or a Nordsee), but often times you'll find a hot and cold food bar in addition to a restaurant chain…just to give you options. I'm sure this accommodation is especially appreciated by truckers who are on the road all the time and would love to eat more than soggy hamburgers day after day. D and I love when we can find a good Autohof that ticks all our food and fill up boxes during long travels. American rest stops are good…but they're no Autohof. Unfortunatly, not all rest stops in Germany are large Autohofs. Click here if you're interested in reading more about the how the Autobahn and rest stops work here in Germany. This guy lays it all out beautifully!

CON: Rest Stops (or lack thereof)

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While Germany does have some pretty impressive rest stops, there is one problem…they're few and far between. In America, you'll find a place to be able to get off the interstate to pee or eat just about every other mile down the road. In Germany, the rest stops (and exits to towns in general) are a bit more spread apart than what I'm accustomed to. I can't tell you how many times I've almost peed my pants while driving somewhere on the Autobahn. Or almost run out of gas because we can't find an ESSO station (that's more of a military problem than a Germany problem…our gas rations are only useable at ESSO's). There's not a McDonald's or Arby's or Starbucks off of every exit ramp here…an annoying truth many expats learn the hard way in the beginning. You also have to consider the fact that wherever you stop, you'll have to pay to pee. That quick stop at Burger King will cost you…and you can't just stop at a random restaurant in a random town to use their restroom unless you're buying something. Common courtesy, I get it. But German towns are small in some areas, so you may have to venture off the Autobahn a few miles before you reach anywhere to eat, pee, or get gas. Paying for it just adds insult to injury for me, at least. Another interesting thing…you'll see signs that say "P" for parking just off the Autobahn, but there are no bathrooms there. If you're a boy, it's no problem. If you're a girl…you best keep on driving. Sometimes they'll also be a small picnic area there, but no restaurant with food for purchase. Germans love a good picnic, even on the side of the interstate. But if you're "hangry" and wanting more sustience, keep driving for that Autohof. When we head out on driving trips here, we have to plan quite a bit more than we would have to back stateside. D and I have learned that a bag of snacks and a well-placed ESSO station plugged into our GPS is more of a requirement than a choice while traveling the roads of Germany. You live, you adapt, and you do as the Germans to. :)

PRO: Super Clean Everything

Germany is absolutely, hands down one of the most immaculate countries I've ever stepped foot into. The streets, the bathrooms, the movie theaters…clean, clean, clean! You never see trash on the side of the road (side eye, America) and I've never walked into a restaurant and felt like I was sitting in sludge (side eye, Waffle House). Granted, I'm sure there are plenty of unsavory areas of Germany, filled with graffiti and trash and less than cleanly bathrooms, but for the most part, this country is spotless. At least when you compare it to the USA or a few other select countries in Europe. I love Italy (don't hate me Italy friends!), and while I've only visited certain areas, one thing that suck out in my mind was the trash and overall dirtiness of those areas I traveled in Italy. I remember my mom getting off the airplane with me from Bolgona to Frankfurt and almost literally kissing the ground at the airport because she'd missed the cleanliness of Germany so much. I don't know if it's just because Germans cuckoo for cleaning (I mean, their recycling laws are ridiculously extensive), but they're definitely doing something right. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE clean and beautiful Germany. That whole paying to pee thing is a little easier to take knowing you're contributing to the cleanliness of the country. Just don't go into a fest bathroom. There's just no hope for those places, no matter what country you're in!

CON: Lack of acceptance of the Flip Flop (and other foot visible footwear)

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If I have one more German ask me if my feet are cold in the middle of July, I'm gonna scream and run away forever. Americans wear sandals and foot-exposing footwear from the second it hits 65°F outside until the first leaves of fall start to shed to the ground. This I know to be true because I am one of those Americans. Sandals ALL SUMMER LONG! From what I've observed, many Germans only tend to wear sandals if it's over 85°F…which happens for maybe about 3 weeks out of the year and then boom, they're back to boots and closed-toe everything. I absolutely don't understand it! Aren't your feet hot? Shoot, aren't your necks hot (they also wear scarves year-round)? Are you afraid you'll catch a cold? Do you all have foot fungus that we don't know about? Dear Lord, I hope not. I'm constantly baffled and even after 3 years abroad, I still have no answers. Oh…and don't even get me started on the Birkenstocks with socks phenomenon. I thought Americans were bad about socks and sandals…but Germans are large offenders as well. Granted, Birkenstocks are German and Germans should wear the crap out of them. But socks? Sigh...I see my dad in every sock-sandaled German that walks the street. Every spring/summer (appropriate sandal wearing times of year, right?), I have at least a handful Germans ask me if my feet are cold while wearing sandals…and at least dozens of them stare at my feet with dissension. German teenagers seem to be the only exception to this unwritten "no sandals" rule. They'll wear them more than Germans of older ages. Is it an age thing then? HELP ME! German friends, any light you can shed on why the aversion to sandals? I need to understand!

Until next time…

*Please keep in mind that all of these pros & cons are formed simply from my experiences and perspective as an American living abroad. You can find the other installments of my Pros & Cons of living in Germany here, here, here, here, here, here, here & here!*

Pros & Cons of Living in Germany: Part Acht

PRO:Kartoffelpuffers

Kartoffelpuffer season is coming!! You guys, these things are da bomb. Do people still say "da bomb?" Probably not. I'm brining it back today because there's just no other word to describe these treats. Kartoffelpuffers are basically fried potato fritters/pancakes. Borderline latkes, if you will. These bad boys are served mostly at the Christmas Markets all over Germany, but you can often find them sneaking into other festivals and restaurants throughout the year. They are served piping hot (like burn-your-tounge-off hot) and with your choice of either applesauce or garlic sour cream dip. I hear jam is sometimes served with them, too. I, personally, enjoy the garlic dip, but the applesauce gives it a sweet unique flavor that's equally as delicious. Come to the German Christmas Markets for the glühwein, but stay for the kartoffelpuffers. So. Stinkin'. Good.

CON: Winter

Along with Kartoffelpuffer season comes the season I hate most here in Germany...WINTER. Guys, winters here are THE WORST. I'm talking seasonal affective disorder from the second it hits November 1st right up until March 31st. The sun goes into hibernation (making an appearance maybe once a week, if we're lucky) and the precipitation (rain, snow, fog) just hangs around for 4 months straight. It's enough to make a Floridian go insane. Germans are smart, though. Many of them have sun lamps in their homes to help keep up their Vitamin D levels. Us Americans are stuck taking supplements and moping around like zombies, complaining all winter about how mind-numbingly awful winter is. It's a sad, vicious cycle of perpetual dreariness that I absolutely won't miss upon returning to the states next year. I apologize in advance for all the Twitter complaining I'm sure to do in the next few months. German winters, YOU SUCK!

PRO:Federweißer & Zwiebelkuchen

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The second autumn leaves start to fall in Germany, Federweißer season begins! Federweißer, also known as Junger wein (young wine) in Bavaria is a drink made from the first fermentation of this year's grape harvest. Typically, grapes that aren't quite good enough to turn into wine get turned into Federweißer. The name Federweißer translates to "feather white," which pretty much refers to the drink's cloudy appearance. Federweißer is unfiltered, so the yeast is still suspended within the beverage causing that cloudy color. The drink itself isn't super potent, usually only packing a 4%-6% alcohol punch, but it's definitely super tasty. Especially when paired with a slice of fresh Zwiebelkuchen (onion cake) straight from the oven. Holy YUM! The Federweißer we've tried along the Mosel River Valley kind of tasted like a tangy grape-lemonade concoction. But, another we've tried tasted like sweet grape juice. I guess the variation in flavors depends on the grape and how long the Federweißer's been fermenting. You can find Federweißer stands all over Germany...on the side of the road like a fruit stand would be, at festivals, or even bottled in certain grocery stores. The best kinds, though? Side of the road Federweißer. All good things come from the side of the road. But don't quote me on that. ;)

CON: No Iced Coffee

Ok, so I'm not saying iced coffee (coffee with ice cubes) doesn't exist in Germany at all, but it's one of those things you're hard pressed to find here. From what I hear, you can order traditional iced coffee at Starbucks. Problem is, Starbucks stores aren't on every street corner like they are back in the states. You're lucky if your town has one (most bigger cities usually have them). But if you've got an iced coffee hankering in some small no-name town you're exploring for the day, your "iced coffee" is going to look like something in the photo above. Ice cream dropped into your coffee. ICE CREAM. Also known as "Eiskaffee." Virtually a coffee milkshake of sorts. I know what you're thinking...THAT SOUNDS DELICIOUS! Yes, it totally does. But it's not the iced coffee I'm used to sipping on a hot summer day. Imagine D's surprise when he ordered "iced coffee" on a menu at this tiny cafe in Bavaria, but then receiving ice creamed coffee instead. He ate/drank it, of course...but since then we've yet to find true American iced coffee. My guess is because Germany isn't keen on ice. German friends, if you know where else we can find coffee with ice cubes or how I can avoid crazy looks when I try to explain it to baristas, suggestions welcome!!

PRO: Oktoberfest & Volksfest

This one pretty much needs no explanation. Oktoberfest in Munich & Volksfest in Stuttgart are just too fun for words. They're also somewhat of an American rite of passage upon living abroad in Germany. If you don't go to one of these festivals and don your best dirndl or lederhosen, you're a shameful expat to Germany. Ok, maybe not shameful, but you're totally missing out! Check out my full recap of our experience at Oktoberfest and Volksfest at these links.

CON: Fest Table Falls

If I had a dollar for every time I saw someone fall off a fest table, I'd be one rich woman. Fest tables are the go-to tables of German festivals. Duh. Problem is, while practical, they're not always functional. Even when used correctly. Let me explain...fest table benches are basically long wood boards atop two thin metal "H" bars at either end of the wooden board. THIN is the key word here. Imagine you're at a festival, enjoying a plate of bratwurst and a cold beer. You're sitting at one end of the fest bench while another, unfortunately larger individual, is sitting at the opposite end. Now, say the larger individual at the opposite ends decides, on a whim, to get up and leave the table. What do you think is going to happen to you if no one else is sitting in the middle of that fest bench? That's right, BOOM! To the ground you go. It's the laws of physics at their finest. Additionally, if you're partying it up at Oktoberfest and 5 of you decide to stand on top of the fest bench and hop around...you're likely to fall off out of your own sheer (and drunken) stupidity. Like I said, fest tables are super practical for seating a large number of people in a confined space...but they're kind of dangerous if you're not aware of things like weight distribution. Have I ever been victim of a fest table fall? Yes, yes I have. When in Germany, folks. :)

That's all for now...Bis Bald!

*Please keep in mind that all of these pros & cons are formed simply from my experiences and perspective as an American living abroad. You can find the other installments of my Pros & Cons of living in Germany here, here, here, here, here, here, & here.*

Pros & Cons of Living in Germany: Part Sieben

PRO: The Hugo Cocktail

While this drink isn't inherently German, the first time I ever had one of these bubbly wonders I was in a bar down the street from my house enjoying a few night caps with friends. A hugo is a refreshing cocktail made up of Prosecco, lime, Elderflower liquor or syrup, fresh mint leaves, and a splash of bubbly water. While it's touted as a concontion thought up in Northern Italy, it's the German summer cocktail of choice. At least it is for me. Hugo's are light, crisp, and unbelievably delicious...the perfect drink for cooling off on the hot, air-conditionless summer days here in Germany. You can even find bottled versions of the Hugo in most German grocery stores. 

CON: Public Peeing

I swear, I think I'm always telling you guys about some weird bodily function-related issue I have with Germany, but the truth is, there are a lot of them! It's kind of ridiculous, actually. My newest aversion? Public urination. You can pee just about anywhere in Germany, as is evident by men popping out from behind trees and alleyways all over Deutschland. In America, public urination is punishable by law (as it should be). In Germany, you're not cool unless you pee on the side of a building. Or at least it seems that way. Now, I haven't been able to find concrete info on whether or not peeing in public is illegal in Germany, but from what I've deduced by living here and witnessing numerous men urinating in public (some even right near a flock of police officers), it's not a big deal as long as you're kind of sort of discrete about it. Personally, I don't care how discrete you are...it's disgusting. Not only is it gross, but it makes wherever they're urinating smell like pee, which is unpleasant no matter how you look at it. Festivals are the worst places for this, too. There are even rest stops on the side of the autobahn where you can park and enjoy a picnic-style lunch...but there are no bathrooms. So, guess what? You gotta pee...you're using the nearest tree! Makes zero sense to me. Honestly, though, that doesn't even bother me half as much as public urination WITHIN a town or city, but naturally I avoid those kinds of 'rest stops' like the plague. Maybe Germany should add a few more public bathrooms around their cities and NOT make people pay to use them. Then this whole peeing in public thing might not be so prevalent (and off-putting). Just sayin'.

  PRO: Women's Parking

While not something mandated by German law, Frauenparkplatz, also known as parking spots just for women, can be found all over Germany. Of course, as an American, this is something completely foreign to me. Parking spaces reserved for handicapped individuals or pregnant women are common in the states (as well as Germany), but parking reserved for ladies only, now that's a first. These 'ladies only' parking spots are only found in private parking areas and can be designated by the landlord or owner of the parking facility (i.e.-paid parking garage, etc.). Each parking space has to be marked as such and must be close to the facility entrance. Pretty neat if you ask me! So, why all the special attention? Because women are more likely than men to be victims of sexual assault. According to the Hessian State Office of Criminal Investigation, "the furnishing of women's parking spaces is an ideal means of raising women's feelings of safety." It seems these parking spaces have been created in an effort to reduce the risk of sexual assault related incidences for women in parking garages. I can get on board with that. Fun fact: most private parking decks have between 10%-30% of their parking spots reserved for women only.

CON: Unabashed staring

The first few weeks of living in Germany made me kind of uncomfortable. Not because of the language barrier or the cultural differences, but because I was constantly being stared at. For weeks I thought I was doing all sorts of things the wrong way...walking on the wrong streets, driving weird, wearing strange clothes, walking funny...you name it, I thought I was a complete freak of a person because of the blatant stares I was getting. Then I asked D if he was getting stared at himself. He immediately exclaimed, "YOU TOO!?" We were both victims of incessant German staring. To this day, I don't know why they do it, but Germans LOVE to stare. Even when my family came to visit, they felt the eyes on them constantly. I remember my sister asking if Germans could tell who was American...and to be honest, maybe that's why they're staring? But I like to think I've learned to blend in pretty well here, and I still get the stares. It's unnerving at times, but it's turned into something I expect to encounter everyday. Not sure I'll ever get used to it (because honestly, it's strange...especially to someone who's been taught all their life NOT to stare at people!), but I've learned to accept it as another German idiosyncrasy I'll just never understand. I've also started to notice the staring filtering into other countries around Europe. So, what's up with that Germany? Why all the stares? Is there something always on my shirt?
 
PRO: ALDI

This grocery store is my favorite little pit stop during the week. Truth be told, D and I don't shop much on the economy here in Germany. It's not that we don't want to or that we don't like/understand the food options, it's just easier for us to drive 2 minutes down the street to the Commissary on base where all of our familiar American foods are sold (tax free, mind you). But, when I want yummy German cheese, chocolate, sausages, and CHEAP, but DELICIOUS wine...I shop at ALDI. I'm sure all of my fellow American's are reading this right now and thinking hey, I shop at ALDI in the states! Good! It's awesome, right? Well, it's even better in Germany. And why wouldn't it be? Germany is where the ALDI food stores originated after all. ALDI even has quite a sordid past. The two brothers that own the grocery chain once had a spat about whether or not the stores should start selling cigarettes. One brother was opposed, the other wanted them, so they decided to split the company in half and now ALDI SÜD (South) and ALDI NORD (North) are scattered all over Germany. Did you know that your beloved Trader Joe's food store is owned under the ALDI chain? Yep. Germany thinks of everything.

CON: No Grocery Bags

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And while we're on the topic of grocery shopping, I feel like I should mention the lack of free grocery carrying receptacles in Germany. Ok, so this could really fall under a pro or a con depending on how you look at it, but from the perspective of a brand new expat to Germany, I'd look at it as a con...at least for the first few trips to the grocery store. Upon checking out at a German grocery store, you've got to either a) bring your own reusable shopping bags or b) pay anywhere from 12 to 45 euro cent per bag you need to use to carry your groceries home from the store. This was something D and I had NO CLUE about during our first few weeks in Germany, so imagine our surprise and panic when we're in the checkout line and realize everyone's brought their own bags and we had none. Not to mention that the cashiers do not mess around while checking out. They literally slide the items across the scanner and chuck them into empty carts (bag-less) or expect you to grab your crap at the speed of light and shove them into the bags you've brought (or just bought). It's absolutely chaotic and panic-inducing to someone that's used to having everything bagged for you (and politely, at that). Probably another reason why D and I only go grocery shopping on the economy for specific items and in small doses. It's virtually impossible to shop for an entire weeks worth of groceries with how fast the check out process goes. But I guess no German would shop for a weeks worth of groceries anyway. Their tiny European refrigerators wouldn't allow it. I do have to give credit where credit is due, though. It's awesome that Germany (and many other European countries) pretty much force you to be "green" and use reusable grocery bags. They could just go a little easy on my eggs next time. Yeesh.

Until next time...Tschüss!!

*Please keep in mind that all of these pros & cons are formed simply from my experiences and perspective as an American living abroad. You can find the other installments of my Pros & Cons of living in Germany here, here, here, here, here, & here.*

Pros & Cons of Living in Germany: Part Sechs

Pro: Architecture

It's no surprise that Germany is a gorgeous country, but the one thing I still can't get over even after over 2 years of living here? The architecture. Timbered houses, colorful walls, flower boxes, bell towers, castles, ornate gates, signs and doors; I practically melt into the cobblestone streets just thinking about how beautifully built 
practically every square inch of this country is. In the states, you'd be hard pressed to find architecture as colorful and rich with history as Germany is famous for. Every new town we visit is like walking into the pages of some sweet fairytale. I know, I know...it all sounds overly romantic and dreamy. No place is that cute. Crazy thing is, I'm not exaggerating. Anyone who's ever been to Germany would agree. Around every corner is some old fountain or massive buttressed church just reminding me of Germany's expansive history and unique style all its own. I look like a perpetual tourist, always having my camera out and my eyes to the sky. Deutschland, I can't take my eyes off of you!

Con: 19% VAT (Value Added Tax)

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Gahhhh, Germany you may be gorgeous, but you are EXPENSIVE! Ok, so prices for things are relatively the same. But that NINETEEN PERCENT sales tax really gets me. Most of the time it's added into the price on the item sale tag...other times, it's not. Those times are really when you see the hurt in your wallet. Some stores/hotels/service providers allow patrons to use VAT forms which exempt you from paying that 19% tax if you're not a German citizen, which is nice. But, those businesses are few and far between. I believe D and I have used a VAT form at IKEA, H&M, the train station, and at a handful of souvenir shops around Germany...but the majority of the time, we're paying the 19% tax and not getting it back. We try not to think about missing our low 6.5% sales tax back home (although those of you back home probably think 6.5% is steep!)...it would just make us crazy thinking of all the money we'd be saving if we were home. Thankfully, the military does give us COLA (cost of living allowance) to help offset this tax and the conversion to the euro. Otherwise, we might not be traveling anywhere! Thank you, Uncle Sam?

Pro: Tipping

I guess while we're on the topic of money, I should mention that tipping in Germany (and in many other places in Europe) isn't necessary. It's definitely appreciated, but it's not something most waitresses and waiters expect after serving food to restaurant patrons. Tipping is a very American thing. Which kind of makes me want to punch America in the face. Employers should be paying wait staff for their hard work, not relying on customers to foot the bill. But that's just my opinion. And usually no one asks my opinion. ;) Here in Germany, D and I usually give a euro or two as a tip (whatever coins are left over from paying cash), no matter the bill amount. I have to admit, it's a weird feeling not leaving a 20% tip every time we go out to eat. I almost feel like I'm cheating someone out of money. Interestingly enough, you learn to get over it...and really appreciate that extra 5 euros in your pocket. Until you have to pay 19% VAT for something. {hand smacks forehead} 

Con: Smoking

Ok, I swear D and his friend aren't smokers. They just wanted to have a cigar after a whole day of Oktoberfesting it up in Munich last year. But this photo was too funny not to share. What's not funny? Having to constantly move your seat or leave a restaurant because a gaggle of German people are blowing cigarette smoke in your general direction. Never in my life have I been surrounded by so many smokers as I have since I've been living in Europe. Yeah, that's right Europe, it's not just Germany that's to blame. But since this post is all about Germany, I'll stick to Germans. Smoking is gross. Addicting and gross. And after watching my MeeMaw suffer with Emphysema caused by smoking 30+ years of her life, you can bet my tolerance level for smoking is slim to none. Like, I wasn't even thrilled the boys bought cigars that day. At all. I get that people like to smoke when they drink (and Germans love to drink!), but the abundance of smoking here just makes this gorgeous country smell like one big ashtray. Thankfully, many stores, restaurants, train stations, and airports are starting to ban smoking or are creating smoking sections to make their non-smoking visitors a bit happier. Maybe when I visit Germany 5 years from now it'll be virtually smoke-less? Fat chance...but one can hope.

Pro: Maternity Leave

This is another issue that makes me want to give America a proverbial smack in the face. In Germany, they are doing maternity leave right. Heck, much of the rest of the world is doing it right compared to the US. By law, working German women are given up to 12-14 months paid (65% of their income-employer pays part and public health insurance pays part) maternity leave. In America? Maybe 6 weeks...tops. In fact, German women aren't even allowed to go back to work until after 8 weeks postpartum, if they so choose. In addition, if a mother was working before she got pregnant and goes on maternity leave, her job will still be there waiting for her when her maternity leave is over. No if's, and's or but's about it. The employer can't legally fill the mother's position with anyone else. Fathers can also take advantage of these leave benefits (together this is called parental leave). Moms can also work part time during their maternity leave for up to 30 hours a week and still receive partial maternity leave benefits. Additionally, women can opt to take maternity leave (called Elternziet) up until their child's 3rd birthday. No salary is paid during this period, but the mother's job can't be given away by her employer either. Mothers can even hold off a year of their maternity leave and use it when the child is between the ages of 3 and 8 if their employer allows it! Craziness, huh? America, read my words....THIS IS HOW MATERNITY LEAVE SHOULD BE DONE!!!! I know when it comes time for D and I to have kids, I'll be wishing I was German.

Con: Urinating Sitting Down (for Men)

I really could care less about this, but my husband HATES this...and FIY, doesn't do it (Uh oh! Call the Polizei!!). He's not an idiot pee-er. Learned how to aim a long time ago, I'm sure. All over Germany (and even around Europe for that matter), men are pretty much shamed into peeing sitting down. For now it's more of an unspoken "rule" or common courtesy, but I just read an article that Germany and other countries in the EU (most notebly, Sweden) are proposing to make sitting down to pee a LAW. Who knows if this is really true, but if it is...craziness, right? Ok, so I understand why it's even a thing. Some men have bad aiming skills and no one wants to walk into a bathroom with pee all over the floor. Or toilet. Larry David knows what I'm talking about. But making it law? C'mon. That's just silly talk. And what happens when men go to sit and pee in a toilet with one of those poop shelves? Not much wiggle room, if you catch my drift. I feel sorry for their manhood's. Maybe you guys should lay off some of those Hefeweizen's and making it in the toilet wouldn't be a problem? Just throwing that out there. Also, "Sitzpinkler" is an awful word.

Until next time...Bis Bald!

*Please keep in mind that all of these pros & cons are formed simply from my experiences and perspective as an American living abroad. You can find the other installments of my Pros & Cons of living in Germany here, here, here, here, & here.*

Pros & Cons of Living in Germany : Part Fünf

PRO: Parks

The beautiful Kurpark, where D and I spend quite a bit of our time.

They're everywhere in Germany. Every town across the country has a park or even multiple parks filled with lots of green space, jogging & biking trails, and playgrounds for the little tots. When D and I first moved into our flat here, our landlord showed us where he runs and plays football (soccer) each week...the Kurpark...literally a 5 minute walk down the hill beside our house. If it's sunny outside and at least 55 degrees, you can find me, D, and about a hundred German people down there wandering around. Germans take pride in being physically fit and active, so you'll never be in a park alone. In the states, the park near our apartment was vacant almost year round...aside from me and my morning runs. Yet another thing I think America needs to get more on board with. Less TV & video games...more parks (and actually getting outside and using them!!)!

CON: Lack of sweet desserts

As yummy as it gets for me here, folks. Warm Apfel Strudel with vanilla ice cream.

You won't find your mamma's triple chocolate caramel-dunked cheesecake cookie dough pie here in Germany, oh no. What you will find is an abundance of tarts, cakes (forget buttercream icings...think whipped cream toppings), and tortes made with fruit. Lots and lots of fruit. 99% of those cakes will also be bland and lack sweetness (aside from the fruit, of course), in my opinion. Not my cup of tea...especially being a Southern girl who grew up eating gooey pecan pie and gobs of Krispy Kreme doughnuts. German desserts are deceivingly beautiful, too. There's nothing more annoying than ordering a big slice of cake, expecting to be wowed by decadence, only to be disappointed by sub-par sweetness. Granted, Germany is known for some pretty spectacular Apfelstrudel and German Chocolate Cake (except in Germany, isn't it just chocolate cake? Redundant? Anyone?), but finding a dessert so outrageously sweet that it literally hurts your teeth to eat? Better get yourself on a plane back to America, because Germans don't make those kinds of treats. Gummie bears, Eis (gelato), & chocolate bars don't count. I miss Cheesecake Factory, just sayin'.

PRO: Thermalbaden

If you've never had the pleasure of visiting a German thermalbad, allow me to enlighten you. These places are neat. Thermalbaden are like spas, but not the kind of spa you're thinking of (although some German thermalbaden do have massage/scrub/wrap/tanning services, too, but those cost extra). The kind of "spa" I'm referring to is a warm body of water that is thought to have special health-giving properties. Thermalbaden are all over Germany. Right here in my host town of Wiesbaden, we have at least 5 different thermalbaden, but that's also because the town was built on 26 different hot springs and is the oldest spa town in Europe...hence the name Wies-BADEN, which translates to "meadow baths." Fun fact: 14 of those hot springs are still flowing here! When you visit a thermalbad, you're in for a strange treat. You walk into a place that looks a lot like the YMCA, but as soon as you're past all the lockers and showers, you enter what looks like a large solarium full of pools, fountains, and steam rooms. For about 15 euros per 2 hour session, all spas are at your disposal (most thermalbaden have cafés & serve beer, too!). Some pools have signs telling you there are minerals within the water that are good for certain ailments, but all pools are WARM. Like bathwater warm. Some thermalbaden also have an outdoor portion (complete with a fake beach and beach chairs!), where you can swim outside and bathe under the stars. Those parts are most fun in the wintertime. The water is warm, but the air is cool, making for an interesting sensation if you dare to poke your shoulders above the water. The thermalbad I visited in Bad Orb last November also had a sight, sound, and sauna room. A large, round pool was in the middle of this cone-shaped room with a high dome ceiling. You could hook your feet to a railing that went around the edge of the pool and lie back, floating on the surface of the water. While floating, you could watch the dome ceiling change colors and patterns, and as your ears were submerged just slightly underwater, you could hear classical music being pumped through the underwater speakers. Every 10 minutes, a puff of steam would enter the room, filling it with warm condensation. Talk about a relaxing experience! I'm lucky I didn't fall asleep and drown myself. A lot of thought and science are put into these thermalbaden (for example, they give directions on how long you should bathe in certain spas), so you're definitely in for a healthy treat while visiting one. German thermal baths get big thumbs up in my book! Well, on certain days, at least...

CON: Thermalbaden

Therme Erding-Bavaria

Yes, you read that correctly. These thermal baths can also be a con...if you end up going on the wrong day. Unlike Americans (well, the majority I should say), Germans love to be naked. And not just Germans, Europeans in general enjoy birthday suiting-it-up on a regular basis. That's why many thermalbaden also have "naked days." You can do everything you'd do on a normal spa day, just completely in the nude. Sometimes these nude days (or even just nude hours) are limited to specific rooms, other times it's the whole thermalbad. Sometimes nude days or nude rooms are only male or female...other times, they're co-ed. It just all depends on which thermalbad you visit. Imagine a bunch of old Germans doing the sight, sound, and steam room with their willies to the wind. Or don't. Ew. Forgive me for planting that ninja in your brain. But if your German is not so good and you don't realize it's nakie day at the thermalbad upon paying your money and starting your 2 hours of relaxation (and the receptionist fails to tell you...ahem), you could be in for a real surprise (and a non-relaxing 2 hour session). Precisely why thermal baths can also be a con. Word of the wise? Learn the German word for nude first thing. Hint: it's "Nackt." 

Wanna know more about the thermalbad bathing process (naked and clothed)? I especially love this run-down of one American's experience in one of the most famous thermalbaden in Germany. This article is pretty fascinating, too. Also, don't google "German nude thermalbad". You get lots of weird, inappropriate photos. Trust me.

PRO: 3-way windows

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Man, I love these things. You can tilt them, turn them, swing them wide open, or just barely crack them...offering a variety of ways to keep your house cool in the summer and the dry air away in the winter. Simply ingenious. I never saw a window like this until we moved to Germany, but they're the European standard around here. Just twist the handle one way and the window tilts...twist it another and it swings out all the way. Makes cleaning windows a real breeze, too. Not that I ever do that or anything. America, have you seen these before? I want them in my future home. Nay, I NEED them.

CON: Germans wear imaginary blinders

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No matter how hard I try to ignore this cultural difference, it still irks me to no end. Let me explain: when D and I first moved into our current neighborhood, we'd often take walks around to get acquainted with our surroundings. When we'd walk down the sidewalk and a German person was walking directly towards us on that same sidewalk, they'd automatically cross the street to the other sidewalk and continue walking. I was immediately offended. Did they know we were Americans and they're avoiding us? I mean, do I smell weird? It baffled me on why this kept happening. Even if they didn't cross the street to not walk past us, they'd walk past and not even acknowledge our existence (no eye contact whatsoever)...half the time barely moving and forcing us to move INTO the street so as to not bump into them. I finally mustered up the nerve to ask a few of my German friends what the heck was up with all the avoiding and they said, "That's just the way we are. No need for mindless waves or smiles as you walk by...we've got places to go, things to do, move out of our way. American waves and smiles are disingenuous. You don't know that person...why wave? It makes you look weak." WEAK? Well, tell me how you really feel, geez. Of course, you know that sparked a bit of a debate between me, a Southern girl who smiles and waves at EVERYONE who passes by me, and my German avoiders. We Americans do like to give a friendly smile or wave when someone walks past us, but I hardly think it's disingenuous or weak. It's polite. Nice. Friendly, even. I guess I'm crazy, but what's so wrong with that? Whether I know the person or not is irrelevant. If I'm happy, I wave or smile as a sign of my happiness and awareness of the world around me. Now, that doesn't mean I'm going to walk down the busy streets of New York City and wave at every person I pass, but if someone glances at me and smiles, I'm sure as heck gonna smile back (as long as it's not a super creepy smile). Germans, I do NOT agree with this avoidance mindset. Not one bit. If you're German and you don't do this, I'd love to wave and smile at you someday!! :)

{A little disclaimer: I should mention that not all Germans have adopted this blinder mentality. Nor does it mean Germans are unfriendly people as a whole. Quite the contrary. But, Germany, do you see why America has this stigma that you're an abrasive nation? Stereotypes are stereotypes for a reason, I suppose.}

Until next time...Auf Wiedersehen!

*Please keep in mind that all of these pros & cons are formed simply from my experiences and perspective as an American living abroad. You can find the other installments of my Pros & Cons of living in Germany here, here, here, & here.*

Pros & Cons of Living in Germany : Part Vier

PRO: Dogs

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If you've got a dog, living in Germany would be like a dream to you and your four-legged friend. Germany (as well as many other countries in Europe) is extremely dog friendly. You can take your dog into almost every store and restaurant in Germany. If you leave your pup outside an establishment, chances are they have a water bowl already set up there for your pup's comfort. Great, huh? What's even cooler? Dogs are SO well behaved here! In fact, half the dogs walking around here don't even wear leashes! I think they're probably "supposed" to, but from what I've seen of dogs here, they're really not needed. Dogs are SO well behaved here! It blows mind mind. They don't run out in the streets chasing after squirrels. They don't wander away from their owners. They don't even stop to sniff you when you're running past them in the park. Perfectly behaved, every single one of them. If our dog, Tuck, was here...he'd be a holy terror. He'd surely be the first Dachshund to ever be kicked out of Germany.

CON: Cost of Living

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Guys, living here is NOT CHEAP.  One of the first things D and I did upon receiving orders to Germany was look up the euro exchange rate against the dollar. It fluctuates daily, but it's definitely never in our favor. On average, 1 euro (€) = $1.30. We've had to train ourselves to not think in terms of US dollars while living here, though. Mostly because it's depressing. Alex from Ifs, Ands, & Butts blog wrote an excellent post a while back comparing the cost of living in Karlsruhe, Germany (about 1.5 hrs from where we live) to her hometown of Houston, Texas. It totally blew my mind, so I had to do my own comparison. According to Expatistan, it's 54% more expensive to live in Frankfurt, Germany (about 20 miles from where we live in Wiesbaden) to Greensboro, NC (about 30 miles from our hometown in North Carolina). Ridiculous, right? Granted, the military does give us COLA (cost of living allowance) to help offset the euro, but it only goes so far. Most of that is spent at the end of the year when we have to bulk pay for our heat and energy usage for that year. For living in a home without air conditioning in supposedly the most energy efficient country in the world, it almost makes zero sense why our energy bill is so stinkin' high. I know what many of you are thinking. How in the world can we afford to travel so much if everything is so expensive here? My answer to you is...we may travel a lot, but that's seriously all we do. No firvolous shopping trips (because clothing/shoes/makeup/accessories are so much more expensive here), no once a week restaurant outings like we would in the states (a $20 meal for two at Chili's would cost you double to triple that here), and no wandering into Target for one item and walking out 2 hours later $200 poorer (one good thing about having no Target here!). We choose to spend our money traveling. Simple as that. There is lots and lots more I could tell you about this topic, so be looking out for its own separate (and depressing) post in the near future. 

PRO: Bretzels und Spundekäse

Even though it's expensive to live here in Deutschland, the giant bretzels (pretzels if you didn't already deduce that) and the creamy, cheesy delight called Spundekäse just might make up for it. At first, D and I weren't bit fans of the pretzels here. I think we made the mistake of trying one that had been sitting out for longer than it should have, because it was tough. Not warm and soft like you'd imagine all pretzels here are. But slowly we've found our favorite pretzel-serving bakeries and subsequently have the thunder thighs to prove it. Now, usually where there are pretzels, there's also Spundekäse. Spundekäse is like a cream cheese-like spreadable dip that's made with quark (a curd cheese almost like cottage cheese, minus the lumps), crème fraîche, garlic, onion, and paprika. It's basically heaven in your mouth. We order it at every festival we visit...usually accompanied by a pretzel as big as your face. Definitely a must try when visiting Germany.

CON: Shower Baths

How the fudge are these still in existence? I ask myself that every single time we stay in a German hotel. Not EVERY German hotel has them, but I'd say about 85% of the ones we've stayed in had shower baths. They are so not practical to me. The hand held sprayer thingie only goes up so far on that little bar, so getting completely underneath the sprayer is like a contorting act. In addition, there's usually no curtain or partition, so you end up spraying water all over the bathroom. I believe the German way of bathing is to get wet, turn off the water, scrub, turn on the hand held sprayer, and rinse off. I guess all this just to conserve water? Who knows. What I do know, is that I don't like them. Unfortunately, the shower bath pictured above is the one in our very own bathroom. Do you think it gets used? Not a chance. Ok, maybe just for bubble baths, but also we have a stand alone shower for our normal American bathing purposes.

PRO: Gummy Bears

Germans are nuts about their gummy bears. And truthfully, so am I. I enjoyed eating them back in the states, but it wasn't until moving to Germany that I really started to appreciate the candy delight that is the German gummy bear. Gummy bear's were actually created in Germany by the famous Haribo candy company in the 1920's. Although, it wasn't until the early 80's that America caught on to the gummy craze. Here in Germany, stores devote entire grocery aisles to these colorful candies. You can find them in every shape, size, and flavor under the sun. My favorite gummy bear store, Bären Company, has the best variety (and softest) gummy bears I've ever tasted. Best flavor? Pink Prosecco. SO. FLIPPIN'. GOOD. There's a store downtown just a 10 minute walk from our flat. I may or may not make a stop there once a month to stock up. ;) I might just have to do a big German gummy bear giveaway on the blog one day. You know, to share the wealth. They taste so different (and so much better) than the gummies in the states! I swear it.

CON: Nude beaches/lakes/rivers

Some of you may be thinking, "How is THIS a con?" But, I'm here to tell you, in my book, it is. Why? Because the people who you normally wouldn't mind seeing nude out in public, aren't the ones showing off their goodies. I wrote about my first unavoidable glimpse of German boobies upon returning from our anniversary vacation to Lake Constance last July. You can reminisce (and gag) along with me here. ;)

PRO: Multilingual people

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This pro is more directed at Europe in general than just Germany. I am constantly overwhelmed by the myriad of different languages that are spoken here. Not just by a community of people, but by one single person. Germans often speak multiple languages. Most speak English fluently and many speak French. Crazy story: D and I go to an international English bible study in Frankfurt each week. In our group, we have people from Korea, France, Madagascar, England, Germany, and the USA. Everyone, but D and I, are bilingual. Most of them are trilingual. And a few of them are quadralingual. Needless to say, D and I feel like such language losers when we're around them. It makes me sad that many Americans are just like we are...unilingual individuals. It's partially my fault, for not sticking to learning Spanish or even German fluently when I had the opportunity,  but the finger should also be pointed at American school systems & curriculum. Programs in the states are not nearly as language focused as they are here in Europe. Germans are taught English fairly intensively from very young ages and continue to learn English all throughout various stages of their education. I guess having so many languages all housed in one small continent makes learning them more of a necessity than a luxury, but still...it's amazing. Bravo, Europe!

*Please keep in mind that all of these pros & cons are formed simply from my experiences and perspective as an American living abroad*
You can find the other installments of my Pros & Cons of living in Germany here, here, & here.

Auf Wiedersehen!