Dec 2, 2011

Real or Fake?


Boobs. Ha. Kidding!! CHRISTMAS TREES! 
{Hey, at least I got your attention.} 

How do you like your Christmas tree? Real or fake? Personally, I'm in LOVE with having a real Christmas tree. It's true. But, I also have nothing against the fake ones. I grew up having a ginormous fake tree adorned with twinkling colored lights at my parent's house every year. But when I got married, I decided I wanted to do the whole "chop down my own tree" thing. I love Christmas trees in general, the whole lot of 'em...fake or not. BUT, there's just something about scouring the forest (or in our case, a tiny German Christmas tree lot set up on the side of the road...it was picturesque, really) for THE TREE. The perfect family Christmas tree. I mean, c'mon...it's the tree that's going to be a piece of your living room for weeks, it's the tree that will be holding up all your precious ornaments passed down from your great great Granny, and it's the symbol of joy and holiday cheer that you enjoy with a cup of hot cocoa snuggled up in the arms of the ones you love. That's a lot of pressure for one Christmas tree. So, it has to be epic. EPIC.

I always, ALWAYS, picture Clark Griswold and his nutty family trudging through snow up to their knees looking for the Griswold Family Christmas Tree. I love that feeling of finally finding the tree you'd been pining for {pun completely intended}. Then suddenly, a beam of light shines down from the heavens on that one perfect tree (and the angels sing...AHHHHH!...in unison) and you just know...you know that's your tree! Yeah, Christmas tree picking can be a divine experience. I totally get it, Clark Griswold. So, needless to say, that's the feeling I go for every year when it comes to picking the perfect tree.



This year, D and I knew Christmas tree picking was going to be a little more difficult than in years past. For one, we live in Germany...where the heck do you find tree farms in Germany? Secondly, if we found a tree farm and picked out a tree, how would we get it home? We have a tiny two door BMW from the early '90s and no friends with trucks or spacious SUVs. A conundrum to say the least. Even with all the obstacles ahead of us, D and I still had to have a real Christmas tree. Luckily, D stumbled across a little Christmas tree lot right along his route home from work. SCORE! So, we'd found the location, but now how do we transport the tree? 
Ha...well, I'll tell you how....

We shoved it in the trunk of our car. 

Yep, no roping it and tying it to the roof of the beamer for us! No sir. That would be too easy...and we like a challenge {<--insert sarcasm and eye rolls here}! I kid you not. We fit a 7.5 ft Christmas tree into the trunk of our car (originally we thought it was 6.5 ft, then we really measured it..oops). Now, I know most of you are wondering how we got such a mega tree (and it is a mega tree...fattest, fullest tree we've EVER had, go figure) into a 2 door beamer. Very aggressively, that's how!

Let me just run down the "Christmas treeing" sequence of events:


Here I am...with 'the one'...ready to claim him and take him home! Just for reference...I'm only 5'5"...see how much taller Mr. Christmas is than me? Yeah, coining it "Mega Tree" seems appropriate. So, we paid the nice man...he said "Happy Holidays"...I said "right back 'atcha" (not my most eloquent moment in retrospect) and we drug the tree to our car. I proceed to look at the tree...then look at the car...then the tree...then the car. 
{Hand smacks forehead}
What the crappity crap were we thinking?! 


Ok, here we go. This is about the point that D got frustrated (and almost threw his hands up in defeat) and yelled at me for taking pictures instead of helping him. Psssh...I wasn't going to miss a second of photographing this ridiculous moment! But then he put his angry face on, so I stopped snapping photos (for a sec) and retreated to the front of the car to help PULL while he PUSHED. Oh my Lord, I'm sure we looked like two complete idiots to all the German people in their LAND ROVERS parked beside us. Talk about irony. Oh and do ya think they offered to help the dumb Americans? Uh no. They definitely did not. Sure couldn't take their eyes off us though! 
Wahhh Wahhhhhh.


Suddenly, WHA-BAM! The trunk shut and it was in! Done and done. TEAM COTÉ for the WIN! Thank goodness the German BMW engineers thought to put in folding seats for optimum trunk space...otherwise we'd have been up a frozen river without an ice pick. For reals.


The tree wrapped around my seat and sat it's tiny, pointed top in my lap. We drove home high fiving one another the whole way, both of us in complete disbelief. We had succeeded in obtaining and transporting the greatest Christmas tree either of us had ever had...in a 2 door car. Somebody give us a cookie! Or a round of applause. Funny, because that's exactly what we got. Our neighbors across the street clapped loud and proud as we pulled "Mega Tree" out of our trunk. A round of stinking applause! They were also shouting all kinds of presumably nice things to us in German about our tree (I heard "schöner baum" which means "beautiful tree," I think). D even got a commanding pat on the back from a random old lady walking down the street. 
We were Christmas rockstars.

 

And there he is, in all his glory, Mega Tree. Ain't he a bute! Sure, he's a little wonky at the top, but he's got pizazz! Like, "hey y'all...got my tree hands up in the air!" Ha! Ahem...I will never, EVER, forget the story of how we got our first Christmas tree in Germany. It's a memory I'll cherish for years to come. That's what the holidays are all about, right? Making memories that last a lifetime. And bonus! We get to do it allll over again next December! The crazy things we do in this country, I tell ya. I can't wait to tell our kids someday.

So, fellow bloggers, let's hear it! Real or fake for your Christmas tree this year? Any crazy tree hunt blunders you care to share? 

7 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  2. I am a lover of real trees. I hate that my mother and dad both have been picking fake for the past 10 years or so. I nearly jumped for joy when my mother told me we're going looking for a real one next week!

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  3. I always have fake trees. I grew up having a fake tree, so I have never had a real tree. My kids asked about real trees just the other day. I would like to go pick one out one year, it sounds like a fun family event that we will have to try. my step dad is passionate about real trees and my mom got one for the first time in her life one year when I was in college, it was huge.

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  4. What a beautiful christmas tree with such a fun story! I can't wait to get ours this weekend! www.atfirstblushbeauty.com

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  5. I would love to do a real tree, but I just am not keen on the mess, and honestly I would probably forget to water it. I am bad with house plants lol. Your tree is so cute =)

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  6. I am a lover of real trees and thoroughly enjoyed reading your Christmas tree story! You guys definitely made a lifelong memory! :)

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  7. I just about DIED reading this post! Hilarious! Especially the angry face part. My husband would have killed me. hahahahhaha

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