You guys, I got my first ever tooth filling yesterday...and I'm feeling all kinds of melancholy about it. I went 27 years, 10 months, and 19 days without ever having a cavity and BOOM, one visit to the dentist later and I'm getting not one, not two, but three fillings. T-H-R-E-E!!! %$*@! I'm ashamed and disgusted with myself, too. I could have boo-hooed the whole way home, but I was too busy drooling out of the side of my numb mouth, so I figured one involuntary bodily function was enough for the moment.
I blame Germany for this. Gummie bears and copious amounts of semi-sweet Riesling weren't staples in my diet until I moved to that sugar-riddled country and now I have 3 tiny, expensive souvenirs from our time there. Gee, thanks! I also award blame to my sealants for their supporting role in deciding to jump ship and making my cavities even more possible. NO SLOW CLAP FOR YOU! But seriously, this kind of rocked my world. Going from having a brag-worthy cavity-less mouth to having 3 black spots of death in one fail swoop makes me sad. And it hurts...literally. As if a regular teeth cleaning wasn't already irritating enough on my mouth, I thought it would be a brave idea to get the fillings done in the same visit. The dentist had time, so I said, whatevs, let's get this over with. As they were prepping their scary tools and sticking all kinds of nonsense in my mouth, I kept mentally beating myself up and trying not to barf from the nerves. They tried to give me laughing gas, but I refused it. Glutton for punishment, I was. I deserved to be totally aware of this awful experience. That'll teach me, right? Glad I refused it because the whole filling process really wasn't that bad. My entire mouth is still sore today, but I didn't die, so yay for that. Apparently my cavities were itsy-bitsy baby cavities, and I'm making sure to tell everyone that so as not to feel as awful about my dental failure (re: denial).
Anywho, after driving home drooling all over myself, I spent 5 hours yesterday afternoon thinking my face was swollen the size of a soccer ball (truth: it wasn't) and Googling ways to make Novocaine wear off faster (hint: there isn't a way). I'm the epitome of a baby. I called my mom and sister to confess my news and they laughed uncontrollably at my misfortune. Guess I deserved that after all my years of not-so-humble bragging about my stellar cavity-free mouth. Karma is, indeed, a bitch. But really, they both laughed and consoled me. Mostly laughed though. I was also talking like a slurring drunk. Your tongue literally doesn't work when it's numb. So weird.
When D got home from work and I was basically dying of starvation because I hadn't eaten a thing since 7am (tip: don't agree to same-day fillings when your original cleaning appointment is at 9am and they don't finish the extra stuff until after noon), I finally said
f**k screw it...let's get fro-yo! A giant middle finger to my 3 cavities with more cavity-causing sugar. Yep, seems about right. They probably shouldn't have suggested I eat soft, cold things for the rest of the day (they actually mentioned Slurpees--I mean, really). My mind went straight to ice cream (#duh). Doc, I'll see you for another filling in 6 months.