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Oct 14, 2011

A Sense of Normalcy

Life these days has been anything but normal for D and myself. I haven't found myself rolling along in any sort of routine since I quit my wonderfully horrid rewarding job back in December. I feel like a freaking tumbleweed. Seriously. That's how I've come to view my life over the last 10 months. Just a tumbleweed rolling along wherever the wind blows me. I'm actually embracing it. No, really! I am! Just for kicks, let me show you a little timeline of what my life has been like since December:

December-D is still deployed, I just returned from a bittersweet stay in Cuba with him, my grandmother had passed while I was there, and when I came home I had a revelation about how much I hated my job...so I quit and went home to NC for Christmas. Alone.

January- I began my adjustment to unemployed life and D finally came home from his deployment at the end of the month. 

Leila Wylie Photography
February- Was spent getting D reintegrated, visiting family and friends on his 2 week R&R, and nursing him back to health after his PRK eye surgery.

March- We spent in a whirlwind of excitement and panic...March 7th is when we got word we were moving to Germany! Cue prayers and preparations!

April- Yard sales, meetings, doctors appointments, more meetings, paperwork, and more meetings. Germany was happening whether we liked it or not!

May- Another round of appointments, selling of cars, boxes, movers, and roughing it by living on the floor of our empty house for a week.

June- TLF 6 day stay followed by a 2 week stay at my parent's house in NC. Lots of hugs, kisses, and tears then June 23rd we flew off to Deutschland!

July- Spent it still living out of a suitcase stuck in TLF until our flat was available to move into. This month was also spent in meetings and appointments...as well as exploring and getting acclimated to our new German surroundings.

August- The second round of movers and boxes as we finally moved into our new flat! Then I up and hopped a plane back to America on August 18th...without D. Spent 2 weeks in Kansas celebrating the nuptials of my dear cousin and her new hubby!

September- Met D in Washington D.C for an impromptu weekend getaway funded by our great Air Force, planned and executed a flawless Bachelorette party for my BFF, spent time with every friend and family member I could get my hands on...ate Chick-Fil-A and shopped at Target like it was going out of style...and waited with bated breathe for my hubby to arrive to celebrate my best friends wedding.

October- D arrived on the 4th and we did our bridal party duties on the 9th. Kissed our loved ones goodbye yet again and hopped a flight back to our new "home."

Sounds like a whole lotta craziness, huh?

I've come to realize that what I thought was "normal" to me (having a steady 9 to 5 job, coming home to a husband who is actually there, spending time with friends and family on a regular basis...all relatively normal everyday activities, right?) isn't my normal anymore. And that's Ok. I mean, what's "normal" anyway? It's all relative, I suppose. I knew this military lifestyle that I married into was going to be unpredictable at times and I have always been aware that I would most likely be living a vagabond-like existence at least every 3 years of my life till D retires. What I didn't realize is how much I would thrive in it...how much change can be a good thing. A comfortable thing. A normal thing. 

Before heading back to Germany yesterday, D and I had lots of conversations about my feelings on coming back to life in a foreign country. I had spent the last 7 weeks back home all comfortable with my family, friends, Chick-Fil-A, and American TV. Life's been super awesome in the USA. Was I ready to go through my own form of "reintegration" upon returning to Germany? I wholeheartedly thought I was going to have to go through all the motions and emotions all over again. I mean, I was only there 2 months before I flew home. That couldn't have been enough time for me to get acclimated to my new surroundings, my new German lifestyle. Well, apparently it was. I got on that airplane ready to enjoy my new life in Germany. I was STOKED to get back. Partly because of all the cool travel plans we've made and partly because I'm back with D...in my own home...with my own stuff! I've felt like my life has been stuck on pause for a while now (even though it really hasn't, I literally haven't worn clothing that didn't come out of a suitcase for almost 6 months straight), but now the pause button has been released and I can officially start enjoy my new life in Germany!

Our flight was easy and uneventful. Best one yet, I must admit. Getting off the plane and hearing those semi-familiar German words again didn't phase me. Before leaving to go back to the states, it was a little unnerving being surrounded by German people speaking a language you barely understood. This time, it felt normal. I know. Shut the front door. NORMAL? It was a complete surprise to me too. I felt relaxed. I felt comfortable. I felt like this whole German thing was normal. I don't know how else to describe it. We retrieved our car from the gigantic parking deck (seriously, this thing was 13 stories high...apparently the Germans don't have any superstitions about the number 13...yikes), drove on the Autobahn to our town, and walked back into our new home. Before leaving, the flat didn't feel like it was mine yet. I still had a few boxes laying around, one bedroom still was unmade, and nothing felt homey yet. Walking back inside it yesterday my thoughts had changed. It was like I had lived there for months already. It felt homey...the boxes were gone (thanks hubby!)...and the sounds of cars and commotion coming from the street below felt normal. Again with the normal! Don't get me wrong, I'm GLAD that this all feels normal. Granted, it's only day 1 of my return, but with all the change I've gone through lately, it's a wonder I'm sane and happy right now. Europe is great. Germany is awesome. And I'm quite possibly the luckiest girl in the world. THIS is my new normal. You can't blame me for being optimistic. And you definitely can't blame me for feeling blessed beyond words.

My tumbleweed status isn't likely to change anytime soon or ever while I'm here, but I'm slowly learning to embrace my life and all it's chaos. Friends...I'm back in Deutschland and...Life. Is. Good.


  1. Glad to hear you got back safe and sound!!! I get ready to go back to the States in January, and I am hoping that when I get back here it will feel 'normal' for me as well!

  2. Love, loved, loved this post. I relate to it in so many ways (even down to the deployment at the beginning of the year). I'm so anxious for that last part to kick in—where I can walk into my house and have it feel like home. We move in on Tuesday and I'm so anxious and excited for our stuff to arrive!!

    I'm glad normal is back for you :)


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