Apr 10, 2014

Adulthood is weird. I want my Mommy.


Everything about my life makes me wanna barf right now. Not the "OMG, I HATE MY LIFE AND CAN'T HANDLE A SINGLE THING ABOUT IT!" kind of barf. More like the "I'm about to get on a roller coaster and it's exciting and scary and I'm overwhelmed with the excitement and scariness" kind of barf. Adulthood is weird and filled with doing things we know we have to do, but don't necessarily know how to go about doing them. Lately, I'm SO wanting to retreat into the womb again. Or at least just have my mommy hold my hand, make all my decisions, tell me it's going to be alright…and then make me cheese toast. We had it good back in the day, no? We totally didn't know it then, but when Mom was the boss and taking care of every single facet of our human existence…life was GOOD. I wish I could go back and tell my teenage self that truth. Today, she's screaming "Duh, Mom…I get it now. Being a big girl is tough." Ignorance is bliss and I was totally blissed-out until last week when our new adventure began.

I haven't talked about it on the blog yet (mostly because it's so new…also because I haven't had the time), but this big adventure is what's causing all the gag reflexing. No, no babies yet (harness your ovaries, people!)…but the next, next step is in full fledged HAPPENING stage. Guys, we're in the process of becoming homeowners! First time homeowners, at that. After getting our orders for Florida, we knew a new door had opened for us. If you knew me in real life, you'd know one of the things I've always found hardest about military life is not having a place of our own. Constantly moving around every 3 years isn't always conducive to having one's own place, but I've always dreamed of one day owning a home that we could nail picture frames into the wall and not worry if the landlord was going to murder us for the hole when we left. I've never been one to resist painting a wall, but when that wall is not your own, sometimes you're like, "eh, what's the point?" The conversation of owning a home has always been one in the back of our minds, we were just waiting for the right place to come along for that opportunity. Coming to grips with the fact that our first home wouldn't be in North Carolina was somewhat of a tough pill to swallow when you're an idealist…but the fact we'll be moving to D's original home state, we'll be so close to the beach and so many other fabulous attractions, and in a really lovely area for safety, schooling, and affordable home pricing…it was almost a no-brainer to jump into the homeownership pool. 

Needless to say, we're nervous. Doing this from a foreign country is all kinds of crazysauce. In fact, there's a very real possibility we'll buy a home we've never even stepped foot into before. If you would have told me that a year ago, I would have said "SHUT UP, AIN'T HAPPENING!" Funny how when you're knee deep in the craziness, you start to go all crazy with it. Apparently people do this all the time! I'm like "REALLY?" And they're like "EVERYDAY!" Casey, just go with it. Thankfully, we've got a stellar realtor whose pulling out all the stops to make sure we find what we want and who's willing to go the extra mile to get us as many eyes on it as we can. While the nerves are high and that barfy feeling keeps coming over me…the excitement is just as palpable. By the way, I'm totally harnessing that barfy feeling as a good thing. Getting all worked up with excitement that you just wanna barf? I'm like a dog in that way. Anywho, sorry for all the barf talk. Now, I don't want to say too much for fear of jinxing whatever good vibes we've got going on over here…but I'll just say Team Coté could use all the prayers and virtual good vibes you guys have to spare. We know the right home for us is out there and God's gonna lead us to it (maybe He already has?!?!), so we're trying to keep grounded in our faith and not let those overwhelming nerves and excitement cloud our judgment with this mega huge endeavor. I'm sure this goes without saying, but if I'm a little vacant from blog world and social media for the next while, this is why. That and the fact that I'm currently still inventorying our wine and beer collection for the movers. Lists, and appointments, and decisions…OH MY! We'll keep you posted, friends…just keep those prayers coming! PCS season is REAL! Lord, help us all.

Anyone have any words of wisdom for the first time homebuyer?
Anyone wanna fly to Florida and house hunt for us? Kidding. Kind of.

39 comments:

  1. Oh congratulations even though it feels so… not congratulatory right now. We just bought our first home (it was local to us) and the feeling was so often I want my Mom RIGHT NOW. So, please know you're not alone and it's not just the whole abroad thing… My brother-in-law is in the military and they actually went from CA to FL just about three years ago. They decided being there for three years was long enough to justify buying a house and did, sight unseen. Yes they'd seen it online, taken a virtual "walk through" and such but were surprised when they got there (nonetheless). We walked through our house twice before escrow was finished and were still surprised at what we'd gotten. This all to say: you are going to be what makes it home WAY MORE than any house can ever present itself to you.

    You can do it! And you'll love Florida for all the adventures it'll bring! :)

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  2. I COMPLETELY get what you're saying - I cannot tell you how many times I have had similar thoughts! "Where is the adult to supervise me while I do this?! Oh wait.... I am the adult." Womp, womp.

    Very exciting news about house-buying! We bought our first home last summer. My best advice is this: don't settle! There are so many houses out there, and you truly can find exactly the one you want. If one isn't quite right or doesn't work out, don't fret, because another will come along. It can be very stressful and can feel like you MUST MAKE A DECISION ASAP, but don't give in - ask questions, ask for more pictures, ask weird things like "where does the light hit the house?" and "does this room get really hot in the summer?" and"does the water drain weird in the backyard?" (all questions we didn't know to ask - lol!). Don't feel pressured into anything - you are the long-term buyer, and can be as picky as you like!

    Sorry for the novel :) Wishing you guys the best of luck!

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  3. Hoe exciting!!! I share your feelings of just wanting to hammer a nail into a wall or paint over the white or replace the kitchen cupboards that feel like they're going to fall off the hinges, without worrying about the rental agreement!
    Praying for lots of wisdom and level-headedness and faith for you during this up and down and all over time!

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  4. *How* as opposed to hoe ;) Too bad there's no editing of comments!

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  5. I so love and appreciate your honesty on matters such as wanting to "retreat to the womb" haha. We all get the feeling on the occasion! Unfortunately, not too much advice for a future home owner. However, if I can offer some encouragement: You and your husband have already experienced SO much adventure and figure it out as you go type of situations I know you guys will be able to figure this one out as well! Good luck!

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    1. Hahaha for real…it happens to me more often than I'd like to admit these days. :) Thanks for the encouragement, girl! You're too sweet!

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  6. Oh that is exciting!! Congrats!! You got this ;)

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  7. Congrats Casey & D! My husband and I bought our first home together last year, knowing we were moving to Germany and wanting to make the most of the market and mortgages being low in Australia. It was the first home we looked at, that I'd found on the internet. We arranged a private viewing and knew straight away that this was the house. I was quite blasé about the whole process whereas Chris was quite the opposite, wanting to 'compare houses'. I had told him it's not like buying a car, you don't test drive 10 and make a decision! If you love something and it has the right feel to it, you've got to jump in there. I know the barf-y feeling, I had that the night before the house was open to the public for viewing (Chris had told me at the eleventh hour he wanted to put a bid in the following day) and the barf-y feeling continued until we'd put our offer in and knew it was accepted! Unlike a lot of our friends, we were extremely lucky as it was the first house we looked at, bid on and it was accepted. Even though we didn't have the opportunity to and won't be living in the house for the next few years I'm content knowing that we have a beautiful (future family) home waiting for us to add our personal touches to when we come back from Europe. Just one bit of advice, do prepare yourself just in case you fall in love with something and you are out bid (I have fingers and toes crossed for you though). Either way, it's an incredibly exciting time for you both and as long as you have the right realtor, who has your best interests at heart (which is sounds like you do) don't fret! Best of luck, I hope he/she finds something amazing for you.

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    1. Thanks SO much, Genevieve! Your story gives me comfort that this wacky thing might work! So far, the process has been pretty great and very straightforward…hoping we will be will have a wonderful outcome just like you seem to have had! Glad to know those barfy feelings are completely normal. They've subsided just a bit now that we're more knowledgable about things, but it's definitely still a scary process. Thanks for sharing your story with me!

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  8. So exciting, but I know EXACTLY what you mean about the barfy feeling. Sometimes when I think about things too much I get it too...and I have to force myself to stop thinking about it and breathe. Fingers crossed for you that you guys find exactly what you're looking for and it's an easy transition!

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  9. YAY for being homeowners!! We love house hunting, and if we were in Florida we'd totally go check places out for ya. I have no doubt that you'll find the perfect place, whether it's now or when you arrive. Just keep that barf bag handy! An OCONUS PCS is stressful enough!

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  10. Yay for becoming a homeowner! You are right it is absolutely terrifying. We bought our first home in 2012 and when you add the military in the mix it is even scarier. Excited for you though!

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  11. We own our place in Portland and it really is so gratifying to call someplace really your own! Good luck with everything!

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    1. That's what we're looking forward to!! Thanks!

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  12. House hunting is crazy all on it's own - I can't imagine the challenges you get to enjoy (sarcasm). Our first home is a shortsale/hot mess and I can't say I would ever recommend that someone step into our shoes. It was crazytown, stressful, and there were lots of tears shed. I love our house now, but I'll say the most fun thing is failing. Yep - we painted our dining room HUNTER GREEN like 24 hours after we bought the house, realized it was a terrible decision, and had to repaint. WOMP - but it made for a good story, some funny pictures, and an excuse for another painting party. Good Luck, and you'll find 'the one' eventually!

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  13. I'm so excited for you Casey! I love reading about your new journey. Like I said previously, I'm from Miami, so I'm so happy you will be in Florida. I was glad to hear that your husband was from Florida as well. Congratulations on being a homeowner soon! I'm a junior in college and although I'm not even out in the real world yet, I know it will be so different making big decisions like owning a house. I would definitely help you house hunt if I was down there still. You both are amazing and will find a great home suited for you and your future family. It will all work out for the best, so don't even think you're ever making a bad decision. Good luck! :)

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  14. House hunting is so exciting! Congrats! I've been really frustrated about moving around and not having a solidified "home" too... it's so exhausting moving all the time. I can't imagine buying a house by just looking at photos though. Good luck, I'm sure you'll find something wonderful!

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  15. Good luck house hunting! Congratulations :)

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  16. How exciting! Good luck to you guys. I just drove 3 hours one way yesterday to look at a car. Made the impulse decision to actually buy it. Then drove 3 hours back home. I totally understand that barfy feeling your talking about. I get that all the time when I have to make any form of decision on my own. Usually I just want to call my parents and have them tell me I'm making the right choice. Good luck to you guys! What an exciting adventure.

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  17. It's like you took the words out of my mouth. I am also planning my move to Florida from Texas and my head is spinning and my tummy is always full of anxiety! It's exciting and scary all at the same time. Good luck to you! =)

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    1. Ooo we will be neighbors!! It's a stressful thing, this moving stuff. You took the words right out of my mouth, too! Exciting and scary. Totally the feelings. :)

      Good luck to you as well, girl!

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  18. That's so exciting!! I'm sure it's insanely tough to go through the process from a distance, but with as much support as you have, I'm positive that in the end it will all work out in the best way possible :) Congratulations!

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  19. I'm so excited for you guys!!! :) And yes... I completely understand the feeling of just wanting your mommy to hold you and be 5 years old again and not have to make hard decisions or deal with "adult" stuff. :)

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    1. YAY! Thank you, Jenny!! Sometimes we all need mom. She was pretty thrilled to hear me say that, of course! :)

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  20. The picture you chose to head this post makes me want to hug you tight and remind you of what a wonderful person you are. I can remember visiting my mom while your fil was at work and secretly wishing that I could just move back in to my old bedroom and leave all that nasty adult stuff to someone else. I'll never forget the time I voiced this secret wish allowed to my mom and was stunned that she felt the same way too sometimes. So please know that though we are incredibly proud of the adults we have raised, we will always be here to listen, try not to meddle, (well, too much), to love you both with all of our hearts. Oh, and by the way...take it from an old lady...I HAVE COMPLETE FAITH IN BOTH OF YOU!

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    1. Before the grammar police notice, should be aloud...

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    2. Aww thank you so much, Mama B!! I guess we all go through those times where we just need our mommas! We are so looking forward to all the fun we'll get to have in Florida with you guys! Thanks for all the love and support! xoxoxo

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  21. I totally understand this sentiment! House hunting is crazy making, and I cannot believe that you're doing it from another country. MAJOR PROPS TO YOU, LADY! The good news is that someday, hopefully sooner rather than later, the house hunt will be over and all you'll have to do is move there... which actually, now that I think about it, is equally stressful, but hey, at least you'll own a house...?

    Keep us posted on your house hunt, and know that I'm there in the trenches with you! :)

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  22. I am SO thinking about you. Definitely sending a prayer your way. I cannot even imagine buying a home from another country. Before we moved to MO from SC, I had only visited the town once which was to do a weekend house search and I couldn't even bite the bullet then. It was too stressful. We ended up renting for a year. I'm thinking about you and GOOD LUCK!!

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  23. WOW this is totally exciting! I think that with videos, photos and a good real estate agent you will be fine!! Follow your instincts and you will make the right decision! Good luck.

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    1. Thanks, Ang! So far, so good! :)

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  24. Hiya Casey. Where in FL are you moving? We are thinking about a move to Florida and I'd love to know what you've discovered in your research. We're scouting it out soon.

    My best bit of advice on home buying is to find a good mortgage broker. This made all the difference for us. Not many average people know the in's and out's of mortgages and home buying. It can be very complicated and something you don't want to mess up! A good mortgage broker should be able to walk you through the whole thing. You won't even need your Mom, they'll hold your hand right to the signing table.

    We had an awesome broker if you need a recommendation just drop me a line. I'm pretty sure he does Florida as well as Georgia.

    All the best!!

    V @ Life+1
    New Post : A Beautiful Mess

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    1. We will be moving to the Melbourne area! We haven't discovered much except that there are beaches and Disney World and Publix grocery stores to explore! Can you tell I'm super excited about those things? :)

      We actually are working with an excellent mortgage broker! Great advice…he's been beyond helpful to us (hand holding and all)! Thanks for offering!

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  25. You are such a grea twriter, I giggled so hard reading this! SO SO excited for you sweet one!! Good luck, buy an awesome house ok??!?! love Katie

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  26. Honestly, My gut reaction as a former homeowner is DON'T DO IT, but it sounds like it's past that stage ;)

    I say buy well below what you can afford, because when you move, you will need to be able to pay your mortgage for a while, if it doesn't rent out quickly.

    You are smart, so I am sure you know this. We bought cheaply, but it was still a burden for us when we PCS-ed.

    Are you planning on selling when you move, or will this be a home you intend to keep for a long time?

    Best of luck!

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    1. Definitely way past that stage…but we're very cautious and working with a stellar team. I had no idea this wacky process could work, but so far, so good! This could end up being a home we keep or one we use as an income property. We love Florida and think it could have the potential to be more of a forever home if the next 4 years plays out like we think it might. We're open to all kinds of options at this point!

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  27. Buying your home for the first time is scary but it can be quite fun. Anything cosmetic like ceiling fans, paint colors, and pulls on cabinets can be changed to your own liking. Things like foundation, broken doors, cracks in the walls, bad soil, etc. should be deal breakers. Things like dirty carpet, old water heater, AC issues, etc. can all be adjusted in the offer you put on the house. I am a realtor so if you need a referral to a realtor in the area you are buying, let me know I would love to help. Working with a realtor is very important for a first time home buyer. And don't worry, seller pays commissions so you won't have to pay for it. If you have any other specific questions, email me.

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  28. I can really relate to this!!! I'm not a new homeowner, but I just left home (after college) to start the "real world" and a "real job." So scary, but also insanely exciting. Good luck to you!

    xo Julianne
    http://reallifesurreallife.blogspot.com

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I appreciate your feedback, friends! I read every comment and try my hardest to respond to each one, but if your email address isn't attached to your blogger profile, you might find my response in the comment thread instead. As always, thanks for reading!

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